Why Sharks are cooler than Edward Cullen…
So Edward says he’s the world’s most dangerous predator…I say pfffft! Sharks are WAY more awesome. Here are some fun facts to ponder over…
A shark can hear a fish in the water from more than a mile away. Edward can’t hear Carlisle’s thoughts 10 feet away from the Police Station.
Carlisle wants to take me behind a dumpster? Oh sorry...I read a nearby Cougar mind by mistake...
Sharks breed late in life. They do not start breeding until they’re at least twenty years old. Damn boy! Sharks get more tail *snort* than you!
"Oh Edward!" "Oh Bella!" Their gills flapped wildly in the throes of passion...
Most baby sharks that are born live come out of their mother’s body tail first, although a few species emerge headfirst. Quite sure the daddy shark doesnt rip through mummy shark’s uterus for that.
Even the sharks thought this was barbaric...
Sharks dont sparkle. If they did, the sting rays would laugh them out of the ocean.
At least Shparkle didn't hear wind chimes...
But suddenly, I started seeing the similarities…
The whale shark is harmless and will allow scuba divers to hitch rides by hanging on to their fins.
You better hold on tight Scuba Monkey
Sharks can be fussy eaters. Sometimes they will take a bite out of their prey or just sink their teeth in to get a taste before they start really feeding. If they don’t like the taste, they spit it out and move on.
James spat it out...This should have been a sign...
During mating, a male shark would bite the female to arouse her interest.
I've been really tryin', baby...Tryin' to hold back this feeling for so long...
A Great White Shark can roll its eyeballs back which protects the vital front part of the eye from being scratched.
Watch it Edward! Bella's about to start voguing...
Awww Edward you know I love you…but Sharks are just cooler…
It's ok buddy...my 14 year old sister still thinks you're cool...
Thanks for the info Shark Facts!
I’m not a Edward or Pattinson fan..but you forgot one thing shark’s dont have..they dont have his hair to make all the lady sharks go wild
I promise you…a shark with sex hair on my next shark-inspired post…lol
Ummm… I’m kinda speechless. I click your bloggy of amazingness and see me, peering over my reading glasses. I almost had a panic attack. I must think of something amazing to yell at people about.
Robward can bite me. I shark cannot.
Love it. Love you. I’m still scared.
And an “I shark” is the newest in technology. That wasn’t a typo at all.
You are NOT having a panic attack cause there is no pressure! And yes a rant will do this blog good. Angst/Pissed Cookie is ALL yours…
nice usage of “let’s get it on” ….lolz.
*Crosses fingers hoping it’ll be used during the tent scene*
*bows to your greatness*
I’m struck dumb. No, really, I think I’m dumb now. Not in the “mute” sense, but in the “wtf, lady? how’m I supposed to follow THAT?” kinda sense.
Imma need you to make a craptastically awful post sometime, after which I will swoop in with 1/4th of your normal hilarity, and look relatively humorous in comparison.
Do not protest this. Not even a little bit. If you disagree, I respectfully request that you review the Pregnantella manip, the “Shparkle,” the “Scuba Monkey,” and various and sundry other examples of your fabulous hamster mind. I am right. You are wrong. You are funny. I am . . . not posting anything until it’s at least . . . yeah, 1/4th as funny as this.